Enjoy. A silly story that I came up with last night randomly.
There
once was a chicken who applied to AAUM (All Animals University of
Michigan). Times were rough and chickens could no longer get into top
notch schools like Harvard or Yale. No matter how smart they were and
their parents could only afford schools like AAUM. Yet, the chicken
was scared for some reason that if the chicken went to AAUM, he would
not go far. He already knew that he could not fly and that dangerous
animals lurked the campus of AAUM. Some were like lichen, clicky and
attached, others were like foxes, sly and sneaky.
Nevertheless, the chicken went to AAUM. How bad could it be? thought the chicken. So he went and it was awesome. He saw foxes, wolves, and lions too. However, there were also great kind animals like horses, elephants, and giraffes. There were even unique animals like sea horses, sphinxes, and even lemurs. He had never seen a lemur before.
Days went by and the chicken found himself to be friends with a unique group of animals. A black stallion, a lovable ox, a devilish rabbit, a gentle cheetah, and a beautiful peacock. Yes, he was friends with a peacock. Together they ate lunch and dinner although they had to mind the cheetah because he did prefer to eat fish now and then, but only fish. And everything was going really well.
He learned many great things from his professors. They taught him that he could still fly even though he had no wings for flying. They gave him books and papers to read, that showed him that it was truly a miracle that he was alive at all. They also challenged him to write papers that questioned whether if it was truly the chicken before the egg or the egg before chicken.
One day at AAUM, in the dining hall, a tiger came up and bumped into him. Sorry- was what he was suppose to say, but he did not. How rude, said the ox, making sure that everyone in the entire room could hear him. Some animals, added the peacock. The tiger, although not the brightest, figure out that they were talking about him.
You have a problem? he responded. Clearly, said the stallion. The tiger rolled his eyes and resumed talking to his friends. Hey! Aren’t you going to apologize? demanded Chicken. The tiger turned around and said, I don’t apologize to your kind. Wow, you’re more of a chicken than I am, said the chicken.
Now the tiger was irritated. You want to go? He said. You, me at dawn on at the basketball court Friday. I can eat you with my parents when they come to pick me up and if you chicken out, I’ll personally hunt you down. With that, the tiger called him loser and pushed him down. Then Tiger and his friends got up laughing and started to exit the dining hall.
Fine! called the rabbit after him. It’s on! Chicken gulped.
Never in chicken’s life had he ever been in a fight, especially with an animal like a tiger. Maybe I should go apologize, said chicken. No, said the peacock. He was in the wrong. But how can I fight him? said Chicken. Peck his eyes out, said the rabbit. Chicken was still nervous. Why don’t I just tell the authorities? Like who? questioned Cheetah. Our RA? They all began to laugh. Their RA was a penguin. He was good at making programs that dealt with cookies and waddling. By the time he waddles his way down to report the problem, began the stallion, Tiger would have rushed over here at killed you. By time he waddles his way back to you with the CD, only your bones would remain. This was true. They realized that authorities might not help in this situation, especially since tiger was friends with some sneaky and equally scary people such as a snake, a grizzly bear, a crocodile, and a vulture. They could easily twist the truth and get away with it.
What was a chicken to do? A few days went by and Chicken still had no plan. The fight was two days away. Then he realized he should ask his most trusted professor, a wise monkey who knew the ways of the world because he thought about them through physics and philosophy. He told his professor everything from the encounter to the waddling penguin. His professor sat there and listened. Finally, he said, the fight is on Friday at dawn and if one does not show up one forfeits? Yes, said Chicken. And you’re a boy chicken, right? said Dr. Monkey. Yes! I crow every morning like all boy chickens, said Chicken. Then, that would make you really a rooster, right? A rooster that wakes up all of AAUM? asked the professor intentionally. Yes. Rooster, chicken, what difference does it make? said Chicken. You already have the answer, said Dr. Monkey. It was then clear to Chicken what he had to do.
He then told all his friends his plan. They all set their alarms for Friday morning and shared with the campus about the fight, except the authorities, of course. People were eager to see the fight, because something like this doesn’t usually happen at AAUM. They’ve only heard about these things at other schools, but not at AAUM. Word spread like wildfire and quite a few animals set their alarm clocks as well to get up early to see the fight, without even realizing that they were playing along with the plan.
The day of the fight came. Chicken and his friends all got up early and went down to the basketball court. Soon great masses of animals showed up. They all eagerly waited to see the fight begin. They wanted to see how this chicken would fair against a tiger. Speaking of tiger, he was nowhere to be found. They waited for a half an hour, and soon that turned into forty five minutes, finally an hour went by when tiger showed up. And due to the fact that animals at AAUM never truly saw a fight before, many animals stayed; they also stayed because many animals were very excited to see the great animal gathering of AAUM that came out to the fight.
Tiger and his friends came out, sluggishly to the basketball court. However, by now, no one was excited to see them. Most of the animals were irritated. I came out for this? cawed a crow. Waste of my sleep. You piece of crap, can’t you stick to a time that you yourself set up? shouted a warthog in the distance.
How was I suppose to know when to wake up? The stupid chicken did not crow this morning, said Tiger.
The great wolf, who laid nearby, surrounded by his pack, then angrily growl, What fool relies on his enemy to help him get ready for battle?
By doing so you have forfeited the battle under your own terms, said an elephant who chimed in. Then many others made sounds of agreement. The tiger looked around. His friends were no longer at his side, while agitated faces, devious smirks, and quick snickers flashed in front of his eyes. He could not take on all of them, so he began to turn back to go to his dorm.
Where do you think you’re going? said Black Stallion, Chicken’s friend. You owe our friend an apology for the other day! said Cheetah. They all then heard some mutter come from the tiger’s mouth. What was that? said Ox. Sorry! exclaimed Tiger. I’m sorry for bumping into you. And? said peacock. And pushing and being rude to you as well, added Tiger. Chicken smiled. That’s all it took, man. It’s okay.
Clearly defeated the tiger retired from the basketball court. The wolves, a noble pack, soon whistle Tiger’s friends away too for being unfaithful.
Chicken, on the other hand, received a great cheer from the crowd and even got to ride on top of an elephant, all until his penguin RA waddled his way to the basketball court and demanded to know what was going on. Every animal then disperse so quickly that the poor penguin did not get a single animal’s name or a single detail about the entire story.
Nevertheless, the chicken went to AAUM. How bad could it be? thought the chicken. So he went and it was awesome. He saw foxes, wolves, and lions too. However, there were also great kind animals like horses, elephants, and giraffes. There were even unique animals like sea horses, sphinxes, and even lemurs. He had never seen a lemur before.
Days went by and the chicken found himself to be friends with a unique group of animals. A black stallion, a lovable ox, a devilish rabbit, a gentle cheetah, and a beautiful peacock. Yes, he was friends with a peacock. Together they ate lunch and dinner although they had to mind the cheetah because he did prefer to eat fish now and then, but only fish. And everything was going really well.
He learned many great things from his professors. They taught him that he could still fly even though he had no wings for flying. They gave him books and papers to read, that showed him that it was truly a miracle that he was alive at all. They also challenged him to write papers that questioned whether if it was truly the chicken before the egg or the egg before chicken.
One day at AAUM, in the dining hall, a tiger came up and bumped into him. Sorry- was what he was suppose to say, but he did not. How rude, said the ox, making sure that everyone in the entire room could hear him. Some animals, added the peacock. The tiger, although not the brightest, figure out that they were talking about him.
You have a problem? he responded. Clearly, said the stallion. The tiger rolled his eyes and resumed talking to his friends. Hey! Aren’t you going to apologize? demanded Chicken. The tiger turned around and said, I don’t apologize to your kind. Wow, you’re more of a chicken than I am, said the chicken.
Now the tiger was irritated. You want to go? He said. You, me at dawn on at the basketball court Friday. I can eat you with my parents when they come to pick me up and if you chicken out, I’ll personally hunt you down. With that, the tiger called him loser and pushed him down. Then Tiger and his friends got up laughing and started to exit the dining hall.
Fine! called the rabbit after him. It’s on! Chicken gulped.
Never in chicken’s life had he ever been in a fight, especially with an animal like a tiger. Maybe I should go apologize, said chicken. No, said the peacock. He was in the wrong. But how can I fight him? said Chicken. Peck his eyes out, said the rabbit. Chicken was still nervous. Why don’t I just tell the authorities? Like who? questioned Cheetah. Our RA? They all began to laugh. Their RA was a penguin. He was good at making programs that dealt with cookies and waddling. By the time he waddles his way down to report the problem, began the stallion, Tiger would have rushed over here at killed you. By time he waddles his way back to you with the CD, only your bones would remain. This was true. They realized that authorities might not help in this situation, especially since tiger was friends with some sneaky and equally scary people such as a snake, a grizzly bear, a crocodile, and a vulture. They could easily twist the truth and get away with it.
What was a chicken to do? A few days went by and Chicken still had no plan. The fight was two days away. Then he realized he should ask his most trusted professor, a wise monkey who knew the ways of the world because he thought about them through physics and philosophy. He told his professor everything from the encounter to the waddling penguin. His professor sat there and listened. Finally, he said, the fight is on Friday at dawn and if one does not show up one forfeits? Yes, said Chicken. And you’re a boy chicken, right? said Dr. Monkey. Yes! I crow every morning like all boy chickens, said Chicken. Then, that would make you really a rooster, right? A rooster that wakes up all of AAUM? asked the professor intentionally. Yes. Rooster, chicken, what difference does it make? said Chicken. You already have the answer, said Dr. Monkey. It was then clear to Chicken what he had to do.
He then told all his friends his plan. They all set their alarms for Friday morning and shared with the campus about the fight, except the authorities, of course. People were eager to see the fight, because something like this doesn’t usually happen at AAUM. They’ve only heard about these things at other schools, but not at AAUM. Word spread like wildfire and quite a few animals set their alarm clocks as well to get up early to see the fight, without even realizing that they were playing along with the plan.
The day of the fight came. Chicken and his friends all got up early and went down to the basketball court. Soon great masses of animals showed up. They all eagerly waited to see the fight begin. They wanted to see how this chicken would fair against a tiger. Speaking of tiger, he was nowhere to be found. They waited for a half an hour, and soon that turned into forty five minutes, finally an hour went by when tiger showed up. And due to the fact that animals at AAUM never truly saw a fight before, many animals stayed; they also stayed because many animals were very excited to see the great animal gathering of AAUM that came out to the fight.
Tiger and his friends came out, sluggishly to the basketball court. However, by now, no one was excited to see them. Most of the animals were irritated. I came out for this? cawed a crow. Waste of my sleep. You piece of crap, can’t you stick to a time that you yourself set up? shouted a warthog in the distance.
How was I suppose to know when to wake up? The stupid chicken did not crow this morning, said Tiger.
The great wolf, who laid nearby, surrounded by his pack, then angrily growl, What fool relies on his enemy to help him get ready for battle?
By doing so you have forfeited the battle under your own terms, said an elephant who chimed in. Then many others made sounds of agreement. The tiger looked around. His friends were no longer at his side, while agitated faces, devious smirks, and quick snickers flashed in front of his eyes. He could not take on all of them, so he began to turn back to go to his dorm.
Where do you think you’re going? said Black Stallion, Chicken’s friend. You owe our friend an apology for the other day! said Cheetah. They all then heard some mutter come from the tiger’s mouth. What was that? said Ox. Sorry! exclaimed Tiger. I’m sorry for bumping into you. And? said peacock. And pushing and being rude to you as well, added Tiger. Chicken smiled. That’s all it took, man. It’s okay.
Clearly defeated the tiger retired from the basketball court. The wolves, a noble pack, soon whistle Tiger’s friends away too for being unfaithful.
Chicken, on the other hand, received a great cheer from the crowd and even got to ride on top of an elephant, all until his penguin RA waddled his way to the basketball court and demanded to know what was going on. Every animal then disperse so quickly that the poor penguin did not get a single animal’s name or a single detail about the entire story.
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